


The Stanford Letter

by 20Zvorak17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: It can be unrequited, Sorta implied Sam/Dean, but it doesn't have to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 10:06:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12106368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/20Zvorak17/pseuds/20Zvorak17
Summary: Dean,I hope you're sitting and I hope you're alone, because I'm about to chick-flick all over your day





	The Stanford Letter

By the time he's pulled out the pair of sweatpants he always wears when he's upset, Dean had convinced himself that Sam must not have cared at all, to leave without a word like that. To choose college over his  _family_ like that. And with no explanation...

When there tucked into the toiletries bag Dean sees a letter with Sam's handwriting, addressed with a simple D

 

_Dean,_

 

_I hope you're sitting-and if you aren't you might want to-and I hope you're alone, because I'm about to chick-flick all over your goddamn day._

_I hate this life, Dean, and it feels like I'm dying. Like I'm slowly asphyxiating, choking on bitterness and resentment and if I'd stayed there would be regret there, too. I'm not wired this way, Dean, and I have an out, and I've got to take it. We don't agree on this point, or those related, and we won't ever, so I'm not even going to try._

_You are all the good things, Dean. You're the proprietor of every piece of a childhood I got. You're my parent and you're the best big brother in the world. And me leaving isn't your fault. And part of it is because of you, but you didn't cause it at all. You're going to think you're to blame because it's what you do and I want you to try hard **not to.**_

_I got to get this off my chest, man, and this is the part where I really hope you're sitting._

_~~I love~~ _

_~~I'm~~ _

_~~You're the~~ _

_God, this is hard._

_~~You're it for~~ _

_~~You're the love of~~ _

_I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you and I'm sorry and if I wasn't stifling under hunting surely I'd have died from loving you wrong and too much. None of it can go on, Dean. I know I'm still your brother and you still care and you still want me there but now you know, at least, why. Here are your two solid reasons I'm leaving._

And it's clever of Sam to do this. The explanation speaks to the hunter in Dean and compliments and an absolution are included, too (that's just Sam, though.)

_I had to leave, Dean._

_Love you, brother_

 

_\--Sammy_

 

Dean can't decide if he should laugh or cry, because he hasn't been allowed to call Sam 'Sammy' for six years now.

Never will again, he assumes.

 

 

 

But then one day Dad goes missing.


End file.
